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Archive for the ‘Health’ Category

Cyber Infidelity Busts the Sexual Myth That Women Cheat Less

Ageing and SexualityDr Eve has launched a video series, Dr Eve’s Sexual Health Centre, in which she addresses myths about sexuality.

Dr Eve, whose most recent book is Ageing and Sexuality: Your 21st Century Guide to Lifelong Sensuality, says she used to buy into the myth that women cheat less than men. However, during her research into cyber infidelity, she says she has discovered that the truth is far more complicated.

With a focus on the users of Ashley Madison, an online dating service for people who in a relationship – with the tagline “Life is short. Have an affair.” – Dr Eve says 76 percent of women using the site then go offline to meet a partner.

Dr Eve believes an equalisation is happening between men and women when it comes to cheating.

“About 63 percent of men and 53 percent of women are cheating,” she says.

Watch the video:

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Video: Dr Eve Busts the Myth of the Sexless Marriage

Ageing and SexualityDr Eve, sex therapist and author of Ageing and Sexuality: Your 21st Century Guide to Lifelong Sensuality, has shared a video in which she discusses the myth that married people have less sex than their single counterparts.

There is a popular notion that once a couple is married, the sex stops. But contrary to popular belief, people in fact have more sex when they are married. Dr Eve explains why.

Watch the video:

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Podcast: Dr Eve Speaks About Out of Control Sexual Behaviour and Critiques the Term “Sex Addict”

Ageing and SexualityDr Eve recently spoke about “out of control sexual behaviour” on Talk Radio 702.

The sex therapist, clinical sexologist and author of Ageing and Sexuality: Your 21st Century Guide to Lifelong Sensuality asks, what is acceptable, appropriate healthy sexual behaviour for people?

Dr Eve says we are prone to jump to the diagnostic term “sexual addiction”, while hypersexual behaviour in men is about psychological deterioration. “These are men who are unable to control their emotions, to be able to manage difficult, unpleasant thoughts and feelings and it actualises into sexual behaviour.”

Dr Eve says that couples should have a shared value system and communicate over what they deem unacceptable sexual behaviour.

In the second part of the show readers call in to discuss the issue of hypersexuality.

Listen to the podcast:

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Star Cheaters: Dr Eve Believes there is a Correlation Between Star Signs and Infidelity

Ageing and SexualityDr Eve, sexologist and author of Ageing and Sexuality: Your 21st Century Guide to Lifelong Sensuality, was quoted in article by The Citizen about the correlation between star signs and tendency towards infidelity.

A survey on, a dating site for married people, showed that a very large number of adulterers are Gemini women and Pisces men. Capricorn women and Sagittarius men are apparently the most likely to be faithful. The article gives goalkeeper Itumeleng Khune as an example of an unfaithful Gemini, and Brad Pitt as a faithful Sagittarian.

Dr Eve found the informayion very interesting, and explains how the characteristics of Geminis might predispose them to cheat in their relationships.

Read the article:

“I find these results fascinating,” says Dr Eve, a well-known South African sexologist currently writing a book on cyberinfidelity.

“My research reveals people seek playfulness online, and cyberinfidelity is an easy and accessible way to find this playfulness. Since adulterers have to juggle their lives, it makes sense the majority of women are Gemini. Imagination and fantasy are exactly what cyberinfidelity is about, hence the dominant presence of Pisces men.”

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Uittreksel uit ’n Dans met die dood deur Aniel Botha: Die begin van haar reis met anorexia nervosa

'n Dans met die DoodAniel Botha was sewentien jaar oud toe sy met anorexia nervosa gediagnoseer is. Vir dié sensitiewe en begaafde skolier met ’n passie vir ballet was die woord ‘anorexia’, wat ‘aptytverlies’ beteken, eintlik ’n wanbenaming, want sy was gedurig honger – vir kos, vir rus, vir liefde en aanvaarding, maar veral vir die dood. Niemand, nie eens sy self nie, kon die redes vir haar selfvernietigende gedrag peil nie.

Uiteindelik, op drie-en-twintigjarige ouderdom en op aanbeveling van ’n sielkundige, is sy in ’n psigiatriese hospitaal opgeneem. ‘n Dans met die dood is Botha se joernaal van oorlewing.

Namibiana Buchdepot het ‘n kort uittreksel gedeel uit hierdie aangrypende boek oor die realiteit van eetsteurnisse. Hierin deel Botha hoe hierdie angswekkende reis begin het en waarom anorexia nie beteken jy het geen aptyt nie.

Lees die uittreksel:

Die reis

Ek het nog altyd ‘n aptyt gehad vir woorde. Woorde is my kos: stories, boeke, gesprekke … dít is wat ek eet. En as woorde kos is, wel, dan is woordspeletjies sjokolade. My gunsteling is ‘Hoeveel woorde kan jy maak?’ Hoeveel woorde kan jy maak met die letters van ‘leksikografie’ of ‘lieweheersbesie’ of ‘konstitusioneel’? Ek het nooit regtig woordspeletjies ontgroei nie. Nou, op pad na die kliniek, speel ek dié speletjie in my gedagtes. Uie woord is ‘dieet’.


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Potgooi: Joan Hambidge gesels met Aniel Botha oor ‘n Dans met die dood

'n Dans met die doodAniel Botha se biografiese boek, ‘n Dans met die dood, vertel van haar stryd met anoreksie en haar obsessie met hongerte – vir kos, maar ook vir liefde, aanvaarding en die dood. Joan Hambidge het op RSG met Botha oor die boek en ook oor haar digkuns gesels. Luister na die potgooi:


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Edward Murray Talks to Marius Barnard, the Multi-Faceted Author of Defining Moments

Defining MomentsDr Marius Barnard is probably best known for the role he played in the world’s first human-to-human heart transplant, but there are many more facets to this 83 year old’s long, full life. His autobiography, Defining Moments, is split into four parts, dealing with his heritage, his medical career, his life in politics and his “crusade to create and promote critical illness insurance”.

Edward Murray spoke to Barnard about his pioneering work regarding “medical and financial health through insurance”:

Recovering from recent major surgery and having struggled against prostate cancer since before the turn of the millennium, Dr Marius Barnard is taking life a little slower these days.

However his brain still bubbles with ways of improving people’s quality of life and strengthening the fragile marriage that exists between their medical and financial health.

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Image courtesy the Cape Argus

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Stephen Malherbe’s “Living with My X” Launched at the Book Lounge

Christine Coates & Stephen Malherbe

“Most doctors don’t know much about Klinefelter’s syndrome,” said novelist and GP Dawn Garisch at the launch of Stephen Malherbe’s Living with My X, the True Story of One Man and a Rogue Chromosome. She herself has never diagnosed it and no patient of hers has ever presented with it.

Living with My XThe condition, however, is less rare than might be thought: it affects 1 in 1000 human males, and it has left Malherbe with an extra X sex chromosome. “This has many implications for the individual in terms of their physiology and psychology,” said Garisch. “A lot of people don’t know they have it, although it is typically detected in adolescence when the secondary sex characteristics don’t develop.”

Malherbe wrote the book to make parents and teachers aware of the condition. He said that boys going through problems might be labelled “lazy”, as he was, without knowing what is going on.

For Malherbe, when faced with a multiple choice test, he does well, but writing an essay, he battles to form an argument on the page and struggles with short term memory. “If this had been picked earlier, my life path would have been very different.” As is typical of XXY boys, Malherbe was subject to schoolyard bullying. He recalled his diagnosis at 17. “That was a different time in this country, 30 years ago, when boys did military service. We lived in a very macho society. At 17, I had body of 10 year old. When I enlisted in the Air Force, I was told, ‘You’re at the wrong place, you should be at primary school.’”

Stephen Malherbe

Garisch said, “The remarkable thing about this story is that he never comes across as a victim, despite the difficult beginning. He’s taken the situation and turned it around; he’s taken it on and ridden it.”

While at a retreat for healers at Findhorn in Scotland, he had a major realisation: “In order to heal fully I’d have to mend myself. Before I could practise as a healer I had to be whole.” This was what led him to undertake the healing work of telling his story.

Garisch said, “Many people stop themselves from writing their own story, fearful of appearing narcissistic; or their inner critic makes them shut up. But if you’ve had a really difficult time, you have to go back to it with an eye of compassion. Stephen went back to his childhood with compassion for that child he was in order to write the experience. He’s saying: Here I am; have compassion for me, for what I went through. That’s part of the healing, taking your life and making a creative artefact out of it.”

Dawn Garisch

Garisch advocated early detection and treatment. “People don’t realise how common it is. As a parent, this is the last thing you think of. You realise your child is different, and maybe this needs investigation, or treatment. But it puts you in an uncomfortable zone. We tend to reject the over-pathologising and overtreating of normal conditions, for example, the reclassification of shyness as ‘social phobia’. But with Klinefelter’s, you have a situation you need to pick up early.”

Garisch raised an important question: “What is ‘normal’? We all have something to deal with. Yours is overt. You have an XXY configuration, whereas the rest of us have XY. You’ve taken that difference and made it an important part of your life; you haven’t gone under because of it. We can all extrapolate from your story to our own lives. Your book is a great inspiration for us to deal with limitations and difficulties.”

Christine Coates

Co-author Christina Coates said stories were as important to humanity as food. “A story makes you live.” She said that in the hero’s journey, the model was the ordinary person who is called to take on a challenge. “Stephen did this. He could have given up and lived invisibly. But he rose to the challenge, and undertook an amazing journey.”

Garisch said that Malherbe was a role model in a macho time when the army, braaivleis-and-Chevrolet amplified the difficulty and meaning of manhood.

In conclusion she referred to a recent psychiatry conference she attend where she noticed her medical colleagues are changing their tune. “They are no longer talking about a ‘cure’ for mental illness, but about ‘managing our conditions’. It’s pie in the sky to talk about a cure. Steven has absolutely lived with what he’s got.”

Stephen Malherbe, Christine Coates & Dawn Garisch

The audience listened enrapt. One couple, whose son was recently diagnosed, shared a part of their moving story in the question and answer session. An expert from Groote Schuur offered insight into the challenges people faced. Another medical professional raised the difficulty that parents face when antenatal testing for chromosomal abnormalities reveals Klinefelter’s syndrome.

In true Book Lounge style, the snacks were designed with Verushka Louw’s supreme attention to detail. Cucumber slices with cut-away Xs on tuna mayonnaise, asparagus spears crossed on brie, cheese straws lovingly shaped to represent Malherbe’s extra chromosome.

Veruschka Louw's Treats


Understanding Klinefelter Syndrome
Klinefelter Support and Information

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Aniel Botha in gesprek met Joan Hambidge by ‘n Dans met die dood se bekendstelling

Aniel Botha

'n Dans met die doodOm oor haar stryd met anoreksie te skryf, was vir Aniel Botha “soos om ‘n pleister van ‘n seerplek af te trek”. Dit was pynlik, maar iets wat sy moes doen.

“Daar is beslis heling in die skryfproses,” het Botha gisteraand by die bekendstelling van haar boek ‘n Dans met die dood aan digter Joan Hambidge gesê. Botha het die afgelope drie jaar onder Hambidge se leiding Skeppende Skryfkunde aan die Universiteit van Kaapstad studeer.

Botha het ‘n Dans met die dood geskryf nadat sy ses weke in ‘n eetsteurniskliniek in die Suidelike voorstede van Kaapstad deurgebring het. ‘n Obsessie met ballet, die liggaam, kos, en die dood word in die boek ondersoek. Sy skryf dat dit eers maklik was om by die streng “dieet” te hou wat sy vir haarself uitgewerk het, maar uiteindelik was dit onmoontlik om enigsins daarvan af te wyk.

‘n Dans met die dood neem die vorm van ‘n joernaal aan en ‘n eerstepersoonsverteller is aan die woord. “As ek ‘n derdepersoonsverteller gebruik het, sou dit seker makliker gewees het om te skryf. Dit sou voel asof ek oor iemand anders se lewe skryf.” Tog is Botha bly dat sy by die “ek”-verteller gehou het. “Ek dink die intimiteit is belangrik, want dit is ‘n baie persoonlike onderwerp.”

Die eetsteurniskliniek was volgens Botha grootliks ‘n “Engelse” ruimte. Daarom het sy die boek oorspronklik in Engels geskryf. Sy het dit later in Afrikaans vertaal en meen dit was “’n verrykende proses”. Met hierdie tweede deurwerk van die boek het sy ook dele herskryf.

Botha het ‘n Dans met die dood geskryf om haar eie ondervindings te verwerk, maar as iemand anders daar by kan baat vind, sal sy baie bly wees.

Aniel Botha Facebook Galery


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Zebra Press Presents: Living with My X by Stephen Malherbe

Living with My XAs a young boy, Stephen always felt different from his friends – he was smaller, less self-assured and often sickly. He struggled with classroom learning and school sports. Only as a shy, embarrassed ‘sixteen-year-old with the body of a boy of ten’ was Stephen diagnosed with Klinefelter’s Syndrome, a medical disorder resulting from his cells having one X chromosome more than is normal for males. Symptoms of the condition include small testicles, resulting in sterility; gynaecomastia, the enlargement of the breasts; low energy levels and self-esteem; communication and learning difficulties; developmental delays; and decreased libido, among many others.

With appropriate treatment, Stephen’s body began to develop into that of a man and he felt able to embark on a ‘normal’ life, one that included girlfriends, marriage and a career. Many uphill battles later, Stephen reached a point of spiritual strength from which he could begin to tell his story.

Living with my X is a unique and deeply personal account of a man living in the shadow of a genetic condition that is less rare than one thinks. Between 1 in 500 and 1 in 1 000 men are born with an ‘extra’ X chromosome. The symptoms associated with this vary widely. Although many men remain entirely unaware of their additional X chromosome, and few boys who have it go on to develop Klinefelter’s syndrome, Stephen was one of those who did.

About the author

Stephen Malherbe has worked in the printing and exhibition industries for most of his working life. In his forties he went on to study shiatsu and other alternative therapies. His interests are reading non-fiction stories and cycling four times a week to stay fit. He and his partner, Tina, live in Cape Town.

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